Tumor is not responding to chemo regimen and has nearly doubled in size in the last 2 weeks

Brody had an ultrasound done yesterday that showed fluid starting to accumulate around both kidneys now rather than just left side.   The worry was that this is result of tumor growing in size and pressing against right kidney now too.   Brody had CT scan this morning to assess the situation.   Unfortunately it confirmed that the tumor has nearly doubled in size in just the last 2 weeks.   It is pressing against both kidneys,  blocking both ureters and,  compressing the bladder.   He is also having very hard time with bowel movements.   Brody feels ok right now,  he only has pain right now when trying to pee or have bowel movement.   He has no appetite (tumor pressing against stomach too).   Brody will be starting completely different chemo regimen today.   He will start Vincristine,  Adriamycin,  and Cyclophosphamide.   He has had the Vincristine and Cyclophosphamide but not the Adriamycin.   The tumor board at Sloan Kettering is reviewing Brody's case tomorrow.   We are hoping and praying Dr LaQuaglia sees a way to perform surgery sooner rather than later.   The fear is that again the tumor will not respond to the chemo and doubles again within weeks.   Brody's body will not be able to withstand this.   If there is a way to do surgery,  make no mistakes about it that at this point it will be extremely agressive and life-threatening.   His oncologist here stated the big question is "will Brody respond to new chemo or not? "  "Do we proceed with a surgery that has a high risk of resulting in death or do we try chemo that may or may not work and if it does not he will surely die? "  If he can survive the surgery it is his best chance of surviving.   But will he survive?  

There are no words to describe how I feel right now.   Impossible situation.   I am so scared of losing my child but far more scared of watching him suffer and suffer and slowly die.   His doctor today said "there will come a point when you will have to ask yourself if we are doing things for Brody or to Brody."  Those words are haunting me right now.  

We may have very few days left with Brody.   I pray we somehow pull through this but in reality I may lose my child very soon.   Pray,  pray,  pray and pray some more!